Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Miley Cyrus: Can't Be Tamed

In keeping with my disgust with this fucking country and our inability to defend what little democracy and human rights we have, with our complacency and our apathy and our inability to think our way out of a paper bag, I continue with my writing about pop-princess Miley Cyrus.

I don't really have anything against Miley Cyrus as a person. I remember a few years back I saw an armada of shiny, very big, transport trucks outside the local hockey arena and I thought, "Whoa! There's some big act in town." Looking around I found out that it was Britney Spears. This whole massive commandeering of resources was to feature this artistic and intellectual non-entity's coming to town! A so-so voice, a so-so dancer. Nice looking, but there's a lot of that going around. The whole thing seemed so contrived. Evidence of the way our culture can manufacture something out of nothing. (Sort of like the presidencies of bush II and Barack Obama!)

So a few years ago it was Britney Spears (Hey! No fair! Britney is still confounding her critics and she's still on top of the charts!) and today it's Miley Cyrus. Big fucking deal. In the mid-1990s, Britney was 16 and singing provocative lyrics. Then she became "legal" and it was no longer risking a jail sentence or societal disgust to express a desire to have sex with her. It was all very "revolutionary" or something. Now, another Disney child star (How transgressive! Disney! The epitome of squeaky-clean blah, blah, blah, puke, anybody could write this shit, I hope our magazine doesn't go under, blah, blah, blah, ... this YouTube celebrity gossip show might be the next big thing but probably not, blah, blah, blah ...) Anyhoooooo .... so in-between Britney and Miley there was, whatsherface, ... shit, it was just in my brain a second ago, ... the "___" movie, ... fuck. Courtney? Samantha? Oh yeah, ... Hillary Duff. Of course, Hillary Duff didn't SHOCK THE WORLD by working the pole at some teen music award or something. But Miley's got the whole country talking about whether it's sick and wrong for a seventeen-year-old to be acting like she is in her "Can't Be Tamed" video.

I was going to post an embedded link to "Can't Be Tamed" but I've decided that I don't want to. My partner put it on the computer one night when were both high, ... she wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I watched this slickly filmed, set, choreographed bit of tripe for about a minute before getting nauseated.

Yeah, she's cute, with a nice set of legs. But she's not some world historically-important event for god's sake! She doesn't really have wings. She's not some exotic, supra-human creature. She's just a former child star milking some extra mileage out of the quasi-legal status of herself as a sexual being.

But this is the sort of shit that North American culture chooses to elevate. It takes half-a-brain and maybe five minutes of sustained thinking to grasp the dangers to our own and our loved ones' safety as a result of stephen harper's serial assaults on parliamentary democracy, and that's too much to ask. Besides, people who care about politics are lame dweebs. Whereas those chicks in the music videos are smokin' HOT!! I'd type more, but I hear that there's a reality show where they're going to choose the NEXT "Pussycat Dolls" and in one episode a few of the girls have a cat-fight! Fuckin' A!!!

2 comments:

The Jurist said...

You do realize that you're missing some vital developments on the political scene. Such as...um...the music selection on the Liberals' summer tour bus (while it's running).

So, how 'bout that Ke$ha?

thwap said...

Ah yes, Ignatieff's latest tour.

After the mega-event communication with Canada thing-a-ma-bobbie? Where they had a buncha rockin' seminars or something and then they thanked people for their input.

That was after last summer's bbq circuit where Ignatieff said hello to Canadians by web link-up?

Is Ke$ha the one who sings "Blah, Blah, Blah?" I thought that song was okay but the video didn't do anything for me.